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Monday, June 28, 2010

Monday Morning Giggles

My (Italian) friend sent me a couple funnies via e-mail yesterday and I want to share them with you to help kick-start your week with a smile:

For two years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin
his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she
would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy
to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child
turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it
discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write
'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support
payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey!,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife
obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce!



One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
and begins to read her book.

The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL:

Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.


Have a wonderful week!

10 comments:

AkasaWolfSong said...

Those Monday Morning Giggles are a perfect way to get in the swing of things this morning Doris! I loved the Reading Woman joke!!! I have heard the other one although it was funny to hear it again, lol.

Have a safe and sacred week my friend!
xoxo

Keetha Denise Broyles said...

LOL OL OL!!!!

I loved this.

Also - - - WE may be laughing, but that poor little guy with the spaghetti certainly is not!

Erika's Crafts Corner said...

Thank you Doris....this is how we need to start the week. There is nothing better than a good laugh.

With that I hope you will have a wonderful day and week and we shall see each other soon.

Erika

Julia said...

Both good ones. Thanks for these this am.

We're heating up over here now. Yesterday was 104 or so. HOpefully today is not so hot!

Karin said...

These are too funny - and I giggle every time I read them. Hubby keeps wondering what I'm up to in blogland! Have a great week!

gin said...

thanks for the laughs, those are funny.

Verena said...

Hat mich sehr amüsiert!!
Liebe Grüße, Verena

♥ Kathy said...

Those were both so funny!! I'll never look at spaghetti the same though lol

Erika's Crafts Corner said...

Hallo Doris,

Please come by my blog, I have a little surprise for you.

Til later,

Erika

San-Dee said...

hi, Doris! what a hoot, I should have turned the computer on yesterday and enjoyed these. Love the one about thinking women-"ain't it the truth"?

We named the fridge Moby Fridge because it's so big, but we are loving it! and the dishwasher is so quiet, we don't even know it's on...

have a great week.